Advent Meditations for Fathers - Day 4 - Identity
And demanding a tablet Zechariah wrote John is his name. And they all wondered. - Luke 1:63
One of the first things that we receive from our parents when we are born is our name. This seemingly simple action is almost taken for granted as a societal norm, and many of us never contemplate the profundity of the gift that we have received. The action of naming a person is more than a simply choosing a “word” for that person; by being attached to a person, it becomes synonymous with who that particular person is throughout eternity!
When we choose a name for our children, it carries within it a deeper meaning. The name carries with it all of our hopes, dreams, and love for our child. Just as God spoke the world into existence when creating the heavens and the earth, in the act of naming we as parents are “speaking into existence” the essence of who we want our child to become, affirming our roles as co-creators, with God, of the child that we have brought into the world. This reality of our role as parents is alluded to in the baptism ceremony when the presider asks what name the parents have given their child. We are “nominating” the child, not only for participation in our own family, but for eternal participation and spiritual acceptance into the divine life.
As fathers especially, the action of naming our children also carries with it a promise of responsibility for and duty to our children. Mirroring God’s own example, we proclaim to them and the world that “this is my beloved son or daughter”. By naming our children, especially passing on our family name, we are gifting them belonging and identity in our own family. This incorporation necessarily binds them to ourselves, and ties their successes or failures to our own in a spiritual bond that cannot be broken. We announce to the world that this child is under my tutelage, and therefore I take responsibility for raising and forming him or her into the best version of themself. In baptism we additionally promise to God that we will raise the child as part of His family, and take on a moral obligation for bringing up the child in the faith. What a grave and powerful responsibility we have stepped into as fathers!
Below are some ways that you can potentially incorporate nomination more deeply into your own life this advent:
Pray for your children by name. Sometimes it is easy to lump everyone together when we are offering up our prayers, but focus on individually praying for each child and their hopes and struggles.
Use your child’s name intentionally. Often, we make up pet names or nick names for our children. Occasionally, use your child’s proper name when addressing them. Let them know why you chose that name or why it is important to you.
